March 2013
1 post
“John Doe 1901 – 2013 Died aged 112 Sponsored by Duracell long-life batteries”
December 2010
2 posts
“Overdosed on Viagra. His wife took it very hard.”
“Is it too late to lose my virginity?”
November 2010
10 posts
“Where did it all go wrong? Birth.”
“One foot in the grave. The other not found.”
6 tags
“Died mysteriously while playing Cluedo. Was it Colonel Mustard in the library?”
“Here lies Jamie Lee Curtis – ‘The Body’”
“Despite his claims, was not immortal.”
“Worked in a church tower. Died when struck by a massive bell end.”
“Died horrifically in a freak tiddlywinks accident”
“Told Voldemort to go fuck himself”
“Here lies Mick Jagger. Stone dead.”
“Buried in a solid gold, diamond-encrusted coffin. Because I could.”
October 2010
40 posts
“Brutal murderer and rapist. Will be dearly missed.”
“Died doing what he loved; his wife.”
“Don’t touch my stuff while I’m gone”
“Professional stuntman, extreme sports enthusiast and lifelong smoker. Choked to...”
“New babysitter needed Please call 020 7033 7263”
“Shot by the Pope’s bodyguards”
“I’m still on Facebook”
“God giveth and Dog taketh away”
“World ‘Playing Dead’ Champion 2010”
“I would’ve got away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”
“Couldn’t be assed to live”
“Lost at Jumanji”
“Grand opening tonight at 9pm”
“Died of electrocution. Her death came as a shock.”
“Here lies Elvis Presley. Just kidding. It’s me, Matt.”
“Award-winning dentist. Identified by his dental records.”
“Asked to be taxidermised and displayed in the Louvre. They refused.”
“Choked on cyanide pill”
“Tragically passed away after tripping in the shower. How shit is that?”
“This beloved Jamaican has gone on to limbo forever”
“You are here”
“The too much coke side of life”
“Here lies the single greatest human being that ever lived”
“Led a long and happy life, before dying a penniless alcoholic gambling addict...”
“I regret everything”
“You’re ugly when you cry”
“Hoped to be reincarnated as a vagina”
“Turns out drugs aren’t big or clever”
“There’s no point in talking to me, I can’t hear you.”
“Died peacefully in his sleep, when the roof of his house caved in and crushed...”
“I’m behind you”
“Here lies David Lawrie. (Or is it?)”
“My other grave is a memorial statue”
“Left this world the same way he came into it; kicking and screaming, naked,...”
“I died and all I got was this lousy gravestone”
“I’ve got rigor mortis. Fancy a shag?”
“In vague memory of…”
