John Doe 1901 – 2013 Died aged 112 Sponsored by Duracell long-life batteries
Overdosed on Viagra. His wife took it very hard.
Is it too late to lose my virginity?
Where did it all go wrong? Birth.
One foot in the grave. The other not found.
Died mysteriously while playing Cluedo. Was it Colonel Mustard in the library?
Here lies Jamie Lee Curtis – ‘The Body’
Despite his claims, was not immortal.
Worked in a church tower. Died when struck by a massive bell end.
Died horrifically in a freak tiddlywinks accident
Told Voldemort to go fuck himself
Here lies Mick Jagger. Stone dead.
Buried in a solid gold, diamond-encrusted coffin. Because I could.
Brutal murderer and rapist. Will be dearly missed.
Died doing what he loved; his wife.
Don’t touch my stuff while I’m gone
Professional stuntman, extreme sports enthusiast and lifelong smoker. Choked to...
New babysitter needed Please call 020 7033 7263
Shot by the Pope’s bodyguards
I’m still on Facebook
God giveth and Dog taketh away
World ‘Playing Dead’ Champion 2010
I would’ve got away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!
Couldn’t be assed to live
Lost at Jumanji
Grand opening tonight at 9pm
Died of electrocution. Her death came as a shock.
Here lies Elvis Presley. Just kidding. It’s me, Matt.
Award-winning dentist. Identified by his dental records.
Asked to be taxidermised and displayed in the Louvre. They refused.
Choked on cyanide pill
Tragically passed away after tripping in the shower. How shit is that?
This beloved Jamaican has gone on to limbo forever
You are here
The too much coke side of life
Here lies the single greatest human being that ever lived
Led a long and happy life, before dying a penniless alcoholic gambling addict...
I regret everything
You’re ugly when you cry
Hoped to be reincarnated as a vagina
Turns out drugs aren’t big or clever
There’s no point in talking to me, I can’t hear you.
Died peacefully in his sleep, when the roof of his house caved in and crushed...
I’m behind you
Here lies David Lawrie. (Or is it?)
My other grave is a memorial statue
Left this world the same way he came into it; kicking and screaming, naked,...
I died and all I got was this lousy gravestone
I’ve got rigor mortis. Fancy a shag?
In vague memory of…