Dead Funny Epitaphs

"John Doe1901 – 2013Died aged 112Sponsored byDuracell long-life batteries"

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 11:05:00 +0000

“John Doe
1901 – 2013
Died aged 112

Sponsored by
Duracell long-life batteries”

"Overdosed on Viagra. His wife took it very hard."

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 23:12:00 +0000

“Overdosed on Viagra.
His wife took it very hard.”

"Is it too late to lose my virginity?"

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 23:08:52 +0000

“Is it too late to lose my virginity?”

"Where did it all go wrong?Birth."

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 10:14:30 +0000

“Where did it all go wrong?
Birth.”

"One foot in the grave.The other not found."

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 10:11:00 +0000

“One foot in the grave.
The other not found.”

"Died mysteriously while playing Cluedo. Was it Colonel Mustard in the library?"

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:57:00 +0000

“Died mysteriously while playing Cluedo. Was it Colonel Mustard in the library?”

"Here lies Jamie Lee Curtis – ‘The Body’"

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:52:55 +0000

“Here lies Jamie Lee Curtis – ‘The Body’”

"Despite his claims, was not immortal."

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:51:45 +0000

“Despite his claims, was not immortal.”

"Worked in a church tower. Died when struck by a massive bell end."

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:34:05 +0000

“Worked in a church tower. Died when struck by a massive bell end.”

"Died horrifically in a freak tiddlywinks accident"

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:30:00 +0000

“Died horrifically in a freak tiddlywinks accident”

"Told Voldemort to go fuck himself"

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:27:00 +0000

“Told Voldemort to go fuck himself”

"Here lies Mick Jagger. Stone dead."

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:26:13 +0000

“Here lies Mick Jagger. Stone dead.”

"Buried in a solid gold, diamond-encrusted coffin. Because I could."

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:21:51 +0000

“Buried in a solid gold, diamond-encrusted coffin. Because I could.”

"Brutal murderer and rapist. Will be dearly missed."

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 12:05:27 +0100

“Brutal murderer and rapist.
Will be dearly missed.”

"Died doing what he loved; his wife."

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 12:04:00 +0100

“Died doing what he loved;
his wife.”

"Don’t touch my stuff while I’m gone"

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 11:54:33 +0100

“Don’t touch my stuff while I’m gone”

"Professional stuntman, extreme sports enthusiast and lifelong smoker. Choked to death on a grape."

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 11:52:41 +0100

“Professional stuntman, extreme sports enthusiast and lifelong smoker. Choked to death on a grape.”

"New babysitter neededPlease call 020 7033 7263"

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 11:49:11 +0100

“New babysitter needed
Please call 020 7033 7263”

"Shot by the Pope’s bodyguards"

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 11:45:26 +0100

“Shot by the Pope’s bodyguards”

"I’m still on Facebook"

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 11:43:03 +0100

“I’m still on Facebook”